In the spirit of New Year’s resolutions, we’re resolving to be less passive aggressive, both in the workplace and in our personal relationships. Passive aggression results from fear of confrontation, and as women, we’re often raised to avoid conflict and put other’s needs first—much to our annoyance—hence the passive aggression. Sigh…we’re working on it.
Read More: 4 Ways You Are Being Too Aggressive In Your Job Search
But passive aggression is totally toxic in the workplace—it kills efficiency, stifles creativity, and tarnishes relationships with bosses and coworkers.
So, are you passive aggressive? Read on for symptoms and how to nip this crappy behavior in the bud.
Symptom: You put other’s needs first, but badmouth them after the fact.
How to stop: Double speak is a sign that you’re not being honest with yourself, and when you deny your feelings, you perpetuate passive aggression.
Think about where your venomous feelings come from and work through them outside the office—perhaps you’re jealous of your coworker because she got praise from your boss or maybe you’re pissed at your boss because she wouldn’t approve your vacation days. Whatever the reason, snarky, backhanded comments reflect poorly on your communication and people skills.
Symptom: You use passive phrases like “I don’t care,” “Whatever you want,” and “What do you want me to do?”
How to stop: Nothing screams “I care way too much” like the phrase “I don’t care.” Instead of being a martyr when something doesn’t go your way, practice speaking up tactfully to communicate your feelings.
Assertive and aggressive are two very different traits—assertive people make good leaders and communicators, while aggressive people are inconsistent and untrustworthy. If communicating your feelings is difficult for you, practice in front of the mirror or with a friend so you can remain calm in the heat of the moment.
Symptom: You do a half-ass job on a project because it wasn’t your idea or you think it’s not worthwhile.
How to stop: It’s one thing to let passive aggressive behavior affect your relationship with your colleagues, it’s quite another to let it hinder your performance. If you feel like your opinion or idea isn’t valued, remind yourself that the office is a place of collaboration. Just because your idea wasn’t the winner in this meeting doesn’t mean it won’t be the winner next time. Focus on being a valued team player instead of a bitter servant.
Article By:
The Politesse